forgeting someone.

wishing. dreaming. travelling. to a world with simplicity and true love. I am broken, all I can do is just talk, think and dream-awake about him. It's just making me go crazy and I'm not liking it. I get nervous and anxcioust by nothing, really. I get despeareted & sometimes truely happy when there are no reasons. I think I'm just falling apart. How is it? How can someone forget their own true love? Even when things get messed up, we simply can't forget when we truely adore that person. He did sooo much. He called me so many things, still I am here writting about him when I could easily be studying or listening to pop music, but no. I listen all those types of love songs who make me miss him, How can I miss someone who did soo much terrible things to me? I guess I will never know. But I miss him. Tonight I lay to sleep, and think and dream, and sleep. Then I know I'll wake up, from a nightmare and fall asleep again. when I see him tommorow probably much doubt that I will feel the forgeting sensation, that thing of when we think we're lost and that the person in question doesn't mean anything to us. That is not true! He is the meanest person ever, but he means the world to me & my heart tells me "Do not give up" I am a fighter, I know. Ive always been, but how can I keep believing for a cause with no happy ending in sight? well If I don't try I won't know but in the other hand, I might aswell get too hurt and too tired and tearyeyed, filled with sorrow and pain and most of all regrets. I am regreting the past, and I hate when it happens. Makes my whole body shake and I just cannot believe this is real, its happening. This is making me scaried, I say I cant forget him but thats in big part due to the fact that I think I don't want to forget him. I want him to tell me sorry and I want to say "It's okay" I want to repeat it all again, and rewing the clock to the 2nd February, 2010. I want so much things! But most of all, I don't want to loose him (but Ive already lost him). I think I am steping forward to the big fall.

Please, be carefull Inês.
think smart, really.
Goodnight everyone.

I x