quinta-feira, 8 de abril de 2010

(Not to) be remenbered;

Gandi once said
"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it";


I couldn't agree more with him; It's so true and so sad - all at once. Living a whole life leaning on strenght and being the best you can ever be, and then waking up to find that in a couple of years, no one will ever remenber you. No one will think about what you did, what you said and all the beautiful things you ever got to experience; Nobody will ever recall your name to say you build a website to help others or wrote a dozen of words in a blog, inspired by someone and wanting to help. It's so sad, so wrong. But what about Her? And what about all these people loved by so many across the world? what did they do that I can't do? Nothing. They acted wondurfully, they said some beautiful words, they changed many minds because of what they got to say or what they got to do. But what does it mean now that they're gone? everything. Our universe is how it because of those people. People who fought so bravely for others and to help. People who never gave up. And Have you look around to see what your friends are doing? what your family is doing? something to change the world? No? and why is that?
People don't believe. They act like normal, randmon and ordinary human beings. What do they think those people who changed the world had in their minds? Happiness? Joy? well, not really. I'm absolutely sure some of them were crying inside, grieving like us, feeling sorrow, despeer and missing someone, too. But they did never give up. And the point is that nobody believes anymore. Apart from all the bad feelings they had, they Believed. To be someone speacial to this world, to be able to be remembered for the good things you did, you have to Believe. You can't just go down your way and expet someone to change your own little world. You have to help, to be someone, to do the best you can in this brief time you have here.

think about; why were we given life?
to wake up and go to work and arrive home late in the evening, frustated and tired? To eat all these types of wondurful fat food and going to the mall to buy things and do your shopping? to what, tell me.

I'm convicted that I know it. We were given life for so many reasons, some of them so clear. Like loving your children; But there are more, still. Reasons behind your belief. Reasons that were born with us but for some reasons, many have made it fade away; like loving yourself. But most of all, our biggest reason for why we were given life was to make this world a better place. Not to expet someone to do it for ourselfs. Be yourself, strong enough to believe you can be remembered in a million years. That people will remember what you did, what you said, who you helped.

But, before thinking about being remembered, think about helping. Think about that it's actualy not important to be remember for many years. You'll be long gone when they speack your name out. And thought it might sound like a true dream for you - it's nothing special. what makes you speacial is being youself. People don't have to say "thank you" or love you very much. You have to feel confortable and your mind has to tell you, that you always do your best. That's exactly what being special means. You know, even if you're never remembered, even if they forget about you forever, there are people who will eternally be thankful for what you did. For the words you lovingly told them. For the moments you were there. Even when you don't notice their gratitude, deep inside they're thanking you from the bottom of their hearts.

Don't ever wish to be remembered; Just so you remember life is too prescious and what you're doing here might not be significant for upcoming genarations, but in the hearts of many, many people, it will be a very shinning, golden gift - and then you'll think "that's because of me"

I x

segunda-feira, 5 de abril de 2010

{ready, set, don't go}

It's been a painfull, heartbreacking and sad time of my life. I just miss her. I just want to hold her hand and tell her it's ok, that we're together. I just want our secret talks back, and all our hugs and all our laughs. It makes me cry, really, to know this easter is just one terrifying time who will be repeated every year, troughout my life. I've always loved special days, but loving that now it's impossible. The pain seems to grow stronger by the minute, by just thinking she's not here anymore. I think of that every single day, but this special days are harder. I still remenber her everyday of my life and I still try to recover every memory we both have but it's not the same and it will never be. For her, I want to grow stronger. For her, I want to help other children in the same situation and for her, I want my heart to be changed and be able to help other troughout my grief. It's true that I'll always miss her and long for her, along this way but if missing Marta feels like this, and I can't avoid, I want to take a positive part of it, even though it's hard to say there's a "positive" part. I can help others and show others how to be brave, even though I'm not the best example of braveness. And I miss her and want her back, and somehow I still feel she's nearby sometimes. I don't want to loose the memories I still have of her, of her wondurful bittersweet voice and of all the smiles we shared. I don't want her soul to leave this world, her body had phisically left in 2006 but I'm sure she's still here, somehow. Watching me, helping me breath. I know and believe so. So, darling, whenever you want...

Ready.
Set.
But please don't go.

I x

domingo, 4 de abril de 2010

{reflecting}

a truly wondurful homecoming. the holidays were amazing, and I got time to relax and to try to move on. I didn't, thought. It had some hard days and they were even harder than the usual. I don't really know why. most of the time, I was sad for Her. My lovingly wondurful Girl. And for the easter she'll never get to experience. So today as this is Easter, I'll head off to my Memaw's home and before I wanted to leave you a few escapes of the week.
Please visit Layla's foundation who was lovingly set; www.remenberlayla.org

I'd like to ask you to reflect a bit on you life, as well. I'm not that type of relligious person who takes much time in the church or something. Not at all. But sometimes it's important to take a look at everything we have and cherish it and appreciate it. Because all over the world today, there are families griefing for their children and families searching for them when they should be home enjoying easter. I don't even like Easter a lot. I hate sundays because people are always kept at home and it's like nobody seems to move on and to walk out to the road. I like confussion, the simpliciness of the day is to be enjoyed calmly within a few moments - not a whole day! And sundays it's all about staying at home. It's like the world stops and just moves on all mondays. But my world already stoped one day and I truly don't want to have it parked in the highway of life, again. So Happy Easter for all of you who like this. Liking or not, there are people who like and who should be celebrating it happily. sad. most of all, Easter is just about sadness for me. will soon upload some holiday pictures.

Just because... I'm not happy at all.