a lif filled with magic {and wonder}.

I don't know what to write. Maybe words? I do not know, I am completely 'far away' at the moment; well for a couple of days, maybe. Ok. I have to admit. Black. Green eyes. Enchanted smile. He just makes me smile, God. It's just as if my heart was "boom-boom-boom" everytime of the day. It's completely crazy to me but he does it all!! Put the blames in him; he just makes me dance at no music; makes me smile when nothings funny and makes me.. smile!

It is yet, very sad to remenber other things but they're just impossible to forget. Yeasterday marked the 1000th day without Madeleine. Madeleine "Maddie" McCann was a 3 year-old child who was once in holidays in May, 2007 with family and friends. On the 3rd of May, 2007, her parents left her and her 2 year-old siblings, Amelie and Sean, alone at the appartment that was just nearby the resort's restaurant; Barely they knew that something horrible was going to happen. When her mother, Kate, went to check the kids; she found Madeleine's bed empty and Madeleine was Gone. she searched all around the house and ran off to tell everyone Madeleine had dissapeared. come 1000 days and we're still at the beggining. we are still searching, still praying but somehow we still have that amazingly strong hope and faith that someday, our 6 year-old Madeleine will come home, pray it will be soon.
still missing.
still waiting for you to help.

be on the lookout for this wondurful little darling <3
I x

4 years ago today..

..today I miss her. I miss the sound of her voice and the countless moments spent next to her; I miss the simple and the ordinary; something I always took for granted is now miles away in a place where angels sing; it isnt the fact that I want to hear their melodies too.. it isnt the fact that she is not here, everyday with me; it is the fact that I don't know where Heaven is; and I don't know how many miles I have to travel to find it.. I think today I realized Heaven is very nearby us; it is actualy, inside us. when there is no real prove to that paradise in the sky; I preffer believing my heart is Heaven; I prefer believing that her shinning sould lives on inside me; and so she's always inside me; to wherever I may go. it is YET unmaginable to bear this pain and to carry it along my life; It feels like it was yeasterday that day..I last saw her face! It seems too hard for me to keep on going; but I miss this life she had and most of all I wonder who she would have been today and what could have been of a very wondurful life that faded away, way too soon. 4 years. Oh, 4 years! Can it be? I just don't believe so much time could pass me by since I heard she was gone. I have to create a life that Ive never dreamt of creating or even though about it! I really have to carry on I guess..

tonight I miss her; and I miss the bittersweet sound of her life and laugh; maybe it is still here.. maybe I just can't see her.

I miss you my love, and that will be forever,
18.01.2006 - a day I wish I could forget.

18.01.2010, 4 years without you;

Goodnight Marta, sleep tight wherever you may be!
I x

Happy Birthday Taylor!

so here I am once again; trying to write down on my blog at least, 3 times a week, but I've been bussy and that's why I don't have much messages.
Today isn't a day to griefe anymore, today is a day to laugh, giggle and enjoy. Taylor Warren is now 7 years old. We saw her growing up troughout the blog of her mummy and the website and saw the daily faces of cancer, troughout Taylor. Taylor is one of the most brave persons around this world and I am so happy she's making trough Leukemia and keeping the smile on her face. Today, take a minute to pray for Taylor!
Enjoy your birthday with your family and friends, you are my hero.
And before I go, I leave you with a video for Taylor and snack of pictures of her. Enjoy!

life. itself.

Maybe I've become a little too naughty, a little too perfectionist, a little too sad, a little too stronger. I don't really know. Come at night, I pray for everything, my bedtime is filled with prayers and crossed hands, but what do I gain doing it? I can't see the reason why I still pray here in the silence but I really hope it is worth.





some People have their wondurful family, their wondurful friends, their wondurful life. I can't say my life is horrible but not perfect neither. This is just about beggining again, a new life and a new future, a future I never expeted to be planning down, so sad.





come monday, and it will be 3 years. I can't believe that it was actualy 3 years ago that I last saw her smiling face and her brighten eyes, right there, next to me, I can't believe that so much time has passed me by and I'm still wondering the reason why. I look to a picture of us too, and I wonder what would have been if you hand't left. This is all too much for me, too much tears, too much sadness and a life filled with missing.

today I come to say, thank you for your love and prayers.


I love you M.





I x