4 years ago today..

..today I miss her. I miss the sound of her voice and the countless moments spent next to her; I miss the simple and the ordinary; something I always took for granted is now miles away in a place where angels sing; it isnt the fact that I want to hear their melodies too.. it isnt the fact that she is not here, everyday with me; it is the fact that I don't know where Heaven is; and I don't know how many miles I have to travel to find it.. I think today I realized Heaven is very nearby us; it is actualy, inside us. when there is no real prove to that paradise in the sky; I preffer believing my heart is Heaven; I prefer believing that her shinning sould lives on inside me; and so she's always inside me; to wherever I may go. it is YET unmaginable to bear this pain and to carry it along my life; It feels like it was yeasterday that day..I last saw her face! It seems too hard for me to keep on going; but I miss this life she had and most of all I wonder who she would have been today and what could have been of a very wondurful life that faded away, way too soon. 4 years. Oh, 4 years! Can it be? I just don't believe so much time could pass me by since I heard she was gone. I have to create a life that Ive never dreamt of creating or even though about it! I really have to carry on I guess..

tonight I miss her; and I miss the bittersweet sound of her life and laugh; maybe it is still here.. maybe I just can't see her.

I miss you my love, and that will be forever,
18.01.2006 - a day I wish I could forget.

18.01.2010, 4 years without you;

Goodnight Marta, sleep tight wherever you may be!
I x