a little less ordinary

maybe my life is now, a little bit less ordinary. In the stillness of the day, I sit and think about this, about all this tragedies and about all the strong people who go trough it. I know it is, still, a massive tragedy that strocked me, but I have to carry on, I have to believe someday everything will be ok, once.again. I love to hear Carolina, sometimes when bad things seem to happen every time of the day, we just don't notice the beuty inside people, though, I always noticed it in her. Not long ago, she gave me the best grin I ever get to see, and I thanked God she was there, laughing at me. With no aparental reason, she smiled, and kept smiling, and smiling. This can be, sometimes, and for some people, ordinary and just "boring". THere is not, yet, a day where I can take for granted her smiles, her giggles and her laughs. Each time, is a blessing, really. Though every voice, every laugh, every giggle, and every smile, is just a remind really, of what isn't here anymore, and I just wish sometimes, I could call her and tell her how ordinary my day has been. I look at me and look back; I never ever imagined me like this, it was never part of my plans to have to grow up without her. Her smile, her voice, is just far, far, far away. My image of the two of us is together, with crossed arms and pure smiles from ear to ear, but what I get is the ordinary tears, the ordinary faked smiles, the ordinary griefe. Everything that, 4 years ago for me would be completely terrible and just unreal, is now the, "ordinary".

I miss you, so.

I x