I forgot.

"Mourning is not forgetting, It is an undoing. Every minute tie has to be untied, and something permanent and valuable recovered and assimilated from the dust" ~ Margery Allingham

In the midst of the summer, in the rush of hot new days, I clearly forgot something. I still don't know exactly how but yes I did, and I feel ashamed. Nobody told me that along with missing, griefing and mourning, there was forgetting. I still remember her voice and her loud laughs and her face. I still can smell her fragance if I close my eyes. But I can't feel her touch anymore. I forgot how it felt like. I forgot what it was like to be touched by herself. I simply disire not to. Time will keep on coming and I'm scared. I fear I'll forget how her voice sounded, how she'd smile in the moornings at the school's big door. I fear and I fear and I fear. And I don't know what to do not to forget.

Today is just not one happy happy day.

I x