mum, oh mum.

It all started 9 months before 4th November 1995. The comception. Yes, I was thiner than a toothpick, and yes, maybe smaller than an ant - but I was loved. For 9 long months, I waited. She waited too. Among family and friends who were excited to see me. 9 months went by before they could think of a name. Yes, 'Inês' came out of nothing. After spending the last weeks calling me 'Rita', she decided I wasn't her. I was her beloved Inês. At 10am of that freezing day, the fog became a little lighter and the rain stopped just a little bit. And just as it, after 13 hours of birth, I was out. Out in this world. She looked at me. She wondered, she cherished, she embraced what she had in her arms. Her first child, her little girl. I spent the first hour of my life looking at her, admiring, loving and cherishing my mother.

It's been 14 years from then on. 14 years and 10 months since I first opened my eyes. And my mum, oh she is still here. I fail, too often, to show her I love her. I've always been the kind of toddler who didn't enjoy cuddles. The kind of child who skipped goodnight kisses. But I loved her, no doubt.

In the middle of this 14 years, we cherish what she have. I mean, the love. The path would have been more difficult if she was not there, by my side. And even when she wasn't phisically there, I knew she was thinking about me. Like that time I managed my first canter at a horse riding lesson. Like that time I fell off my horse. Like that time around 2006 when my favourite doll was cut by my 7 year-old brother. And yet, I felt her there. Most of the times I calmed down, it was to please her. To make sure she though I was calm. But she never did. Mom, oh mom you know me better than anyone else. You saw my ups and downs. And no, today isn't mother's day, it isn't your birthday either nor mine. But I still had this aching need to say I love you. And that I'm thankful and glad for these years.

You know mom, I'm just... thankful.

I x